Arguments can’t really be avoided in a relationship. They are as inevitable as the forces of nature. However, every conflict can be resolved. Feelings just need to be expressed regardless of whether they are good or bad. Quarrels would only get worse if things are left unspoken and emotions get to build up inside the person who is keeping them. Thus, here are the ways on how you can peacefully talk with your partner in times of disagreement.
1.) Set conditions. For example, you may ask your partner not to curse at you during the entire conversation or he or she may ask you not to raise your voice while you settle the issue.
2.) Let him or her take the initiative to be in your shoes. Never force your partner to see things your way. You would only add fuel to the fire by doing so. Let him or her reflect on the whole situation and realize that if they were you, they would have done the same thing.
3.) However, realize that you are not always right. You have your own faults as to why you both have come to this argument. Even if you are right, sometimes, you just have to swallow your pride. The relationship that you have with the one you love is truly more important than your bruised ego.
4.) Learn to humble yourself down. The fight would only go on and on if no one takes the initiative to lower down the flag and apologize. Say that you’re sorry and mean it. Yes, you have not started this argument but you have surely said hurtful words out of anger and that’s one thing that you should apologize for.
5.) Acknowledge your faults. Most of the time, healing and forgiveness start from there. If you have really done something wrong, then be ready to face the consequences of your actions. Never blame your partner for a sin that you have done with your eyes wide open. Just be sincere in saying your apologies.
6.) Don’t hurt your partner as much as possible. This would only make him or her scare you and love you less. Communicate your feelings through words and not by throwing things at your partner. Get to the bottom of the issue and express it one go.
7.) Stop beating around the bush and blaming the partner over and over again. It’s pointless to argue with the one you love in this manner. Simply tell him or her what you really feel. Make your partner realize your insecurities or frustrations and talk on the ways that would get you out of those emotions. Keep your communication lines open.
8.) Once you are done talking things over, set a series of change from that point onwards. Learn to appreciate the good side of your partner more than his or her bad side. When you start to see the good in a person, you begin to blame him or her less for one’s mistakes.