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Russell
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There are a lot of factors why a person becomes an enabler. There are instances wherein the actions done by an enabler promotes a positive outcome rather than the negative one. Unfortunately, most enablers promote negative effects to the enabled person making him or her more dependent.
An enabler’s function is encouraging a person to continue one or more behaviors that are destructive to the enabled person. The action ranges from covering someone’s action by lying to doing the chores or job of the person to prevent the person from getting fired from jobs. Most of the culprits are parents who wanted nothing but only the best for their children. These parents mean no harm and they are often afraid that their children will suffer the consequences. Cases such as bailing the son or daughter from jail and answering homework are among the most common things an enabler do. Some even go to the extremes just to cover for the enabled person such as loaning money to pay for debts and many more.
The common reason for enabling is that the enabler feels that there is a need to help the enabled person. Unfortunately, he or she is doing the opposite way since the person knows that the task can be done yet chooses not to do so. Oftentimes, the enablers are afraid that if they won’t do the task, the person might jeopardize his or her life. The results of enabling are quite predictable. Both sides will gain nothing from enabling and it may lead to the severity of the situation. It promotes dependence, controlling behaviors, feeling of hopelessness, poor self-esteem and it can jeopardize relationships among enabler and the enabled.
Fortunately there are several ways on reversing the effect as well as stopping the behavior. One way of doing such is to seek a good counselor and do counseling sessions either solo or together with the enabler. This way, both will realize what they will need to do to promote a healthy relationship with each other and eliminate enabling.
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